The Couples Clinic

Gratitude & Appreciation

Showing gratitude and appreciation in a relationship is non-negotiable. It is the bedrock of a solid friendship and builds intimacy like no other. Showing admiration towards your partner allows them to feel supported and cared for. In addition to your partner feeling cared for, showing admiration through gratitude and appreciation reminds you how wonderful your partner really is. Saying thank-you 20 times a day, or repeatedly acknowledging the others’ contribution, will remind your inner mind how fortunate you are to have this person in your life.

Gratitude and appreciation can come in many forms. A simple gesture of saying “thanks” makes a difference. Appreciation can also be shown through actions, such as making a special meal for your partner because they worked all day in the yard. Admiration and appreciation can also be used in difficult times, when couples are trying to improve their relationship, or make amends for some reason. Couples who manage challenging scenarios well will also use appreciation to make requests. Saying, “I loved how we spent so much time together in the past, and I really want us to get back to that place”, is much better than, “you never make time for me.”

Expressing gratitude and appreciation does not always need to happen outwardly. Internally cherishing your partner increases gratefulness. When you internally cherish your partner, you are increasing positive sentiment and reducing negative sentiment. Your partner does not even need to know you are doing it, though it will drastically improve your relationship. Write down five things every day about why you appreciate and cherish your partner.

From an individual perspective, gratitude has been researched for many years in psychology. Positive psychology posits that people who express gratitude regularly have a better overall sense of wellbeing.